The Trail to the Powerfully Pricky Wizard Part 2
by Xergey
Summary: If you haven't read the first part don't even bother.


Chapter 2  
  
The fireball disappears from Lina's hand and she just hangs her mouth open.  
  
Lina: You're the person the fruitcake is afraid. Wow I thought Xellos was strong. What a joke!  
  
AUTHOR: YOU INSOLENT FOOL!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE XELL0S OF BEING WEAKER THEN YOU. HE CAN KICK YOUR ASS ANY TIME HE WANTS TO. SO DON'T INSULT HIM!!!!!!UNDERSTAND…..  
  
Lina:…yes.  
  
AUTHOR: Good.  
  
Anyway with introductions taken place and Lina put in her place about Xellos I believe we should now get people better aquatinted with each other.  
  
Lina: Soooo ummm what do you do with your time.  
  
Hairy: None of your business you mofo.  
  
Gourry: Wow this guy is brave.  
  
Zelgadiss: Yeah I have to agree.  
  
Amelia: Why the hell are you saying those things. They are completely useless and don't add anything to the story.  
  
Gourry: This is a story?  
  
Zelgadiss just hits Gourry with a sleeping spell and leaves him there.  
  
Zelgadiss: Amelia think of it this way. If we didn't say these things we probably wouldn't be able to say anything else for a while. Got it?  
  
Amelia: Ooh I understand. So if we don't want to be ignored and ostrac…  
  
Hairy and Lina: Shut UP!!!!!!!  
  
Lina: wow that felt good, we should be friends.  
  
Hairy: yes what a wonderful idea, would you like some tea.  
  
Lina: oooh that's sounds wonderful do you have any crumpets.  
  
Hairy: tsk mmmm I'm soooo sorry but I have been trying to watch my figure lately and have gotten rid of them all.  
  
Lina: Fiddlesticks  
  
(I love the power to make these characters do whatever I want and make all you cringe in the process.)  
  
Zel: oh holy mother of crap Lina's under a spell of some kind!  
  
Amelia: are you sure  
  
Zel: SHE'S ASKING FOR TEA AND CRUMPETS!!!!!!!!!.  
  
Amelia: good point  
  
So they decide to fireball Hairy.  
  
Hairy: you sons of bitches!! How dare you attack me.  
  
Now as most have been waiting comes the fight scene where all of you are hoping to see Hairy Potters' British ass kicked. However, if you have read the books of someone of unique resemblance too him, you know the little bastard is incredibly hard to kill. The sucker should have died at least 5 times but what happens… he survives. So with a few Stupefy, some Serpentiosa 's, and the basic sparks he sends Lina and her friends gasping for breath. Just then a terrific whistling sound enters the room. It gets louder and louder. Suddenly through the ceiling comes a very wind blown Martina  
  
Lina, Gourry, Zel, and Amelia: Martina?  
  
Martina has just landed from being hit by Lina oh so long ago and after flying for so long you try to talk civilly to the person who did that. However, when she first gets up she sees Hairy Potters and falls in love with him instantly.  
  
Hairy: Oh shit. HELP!!!!!!!!  
  
He starts running for his life as Martina in her whiny ass voice starts professing her love. Hairy gets desperate and tries to whack her with his wand. However, the action slows him down and Martina is able to hold him.  
  
Hairy: Killllll ME. Anyone please!!!!!!  
  
Martina: Don't worry my love for together we shall rule the world under Zelmagustar.  
  
Hairy: Someone get these kooties off me!!!  
  
Everyone sweatdrops.  
  
Martina: geez how old are you any way? 3?  
  
Hairy: Actually I'm 12  
  
Martina: oh in that case, bye, see you cutie pie.  
  
Martina leaves and the situation after that was best described by Lina  
  
Lina: What in the name of Shabarnigdo is going on!  
  
Anyway with only two strategies left the gang decides to play them out. First one, Send Gourry.  
  
Gourry: Hey you guys are the best. You guys have faith in me that I can beat this guy all by myself.  
  
Lina: sure w/e you say.  
  
Gourry attacks with all his power amazingly enough he manages to actually hit Harry with the sword. However, he was so full of pride he forgot to say light come forth and so, no blade.  
  
Gourry: oops  
  
He never saw the dragon slave, fireball, and freeze arrow that hit him from behind.  
  
Lina: well theres that. Runn!!!  
  
And so they did with Lina dragging a very well tenderized meat, that had been roasted to perfection, all it needed was a few…oops…I meant to say  
  
And so they did with Lina dragging Gourry. Sorry  
  
Zel: Wow that guy is tough.  
  
Lina: Yeah I guess Xellos knew what he was talking about  
  
AUTHOR: You think?  
  
Everyone sweatdrops except Lina. She's just pissed.  
  
Lina: I'm going to kill you!!!!  
  
AUTHOR: How? I control you.  
  
Lina: hah I doubt that  
  
Author: fine  
  
Lina all of a sudden because extremely frantic as she dances over to Gourry and kisses him fully on the lips and then goes to describe how much she loves him. How she would do whatever he wanted to do if he would just return the love.  
  
AUTHOR: understand?  
  
Lina: YES!!!!  
  
Everyone forgets what just happens except Lina who is very red faced and can barely stand  
  
Gourry: Hey Lina, you have some blood running down your thigh.  
  
Who knew a human could turn so red?  
  
Lina: I guess it's that time of the month  
  
Gourry: Ohh I get it. So the time of the month is when your leg starts bleeding and you lose all you power right?  
  
Amelia and Zel fall and Lina just can't say anything. Gourry is too happy he thinking he has solved one of the greatest question for men around the world. Lina realizing danger that could happen just throws him a piece of chicken. Danger avoided.  
  
Anyway so the gang decides to do some planing. Lina is helpless now and can't possibly do anything. But how can they defeat Hairy Potters?  
  
Hairy Potters is lounging in the castle having tea without crumpets when he feels the whole castle shaking. He goes outside and finds Lina again.  
  
Hairy: What do you want?  
  
Lina: Me, nothing I just brought a few friends.  
  
Hairy: Oh shit.  
  
Every single Hairy Potters fan stood behind the castle just waiting for him to come out. Hairy had just made the biggest mistake of his life.  
  
Hairy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!.  
  
The fans charged as one and took Hairy for all his worth  
  
Fan 1: Hey I have part of his cloak.  
  
Fan 2: Hey I got part of his wand  
  
Fan 3: That's nothing I have some his underwear.  
  
So there he was completely naked in front of all his adoring fans.  
  
Lina: Hey, buts that not all.  
  
Lina also had another surprise for Hairy in store. Now it was all the parents who hated the little prick.  
  
Parent1: My kid scared himself because of you!!  
  
Parent 2: My kids are starting to fall in love with bushy haired, bucked tooth people because of you.  
  
By the time the parents were done with him Very few parts of him were left intact. Just then Moaning Myrtley appears (she's a ghost).  
  
Hairy: Myrtley help me!  
  
Myrtley: why should I. You never came to visit me.  
  
Hairy: But you're in the girl's bathroom I'm not allowed in there. I'm a boy.  
  
Myrtley: Not anymore.  
  
Hairy: Myrtley!!! Please!!!!!.  
  
Myrtley: only if you promise to be my love slave forever.  
  
Hairy: Sure!!!  
  
Myrtley: but your human. How can I love you if you're human.  
  
So Myrtlye goes and drowns Hairy in her toilet.  
  
Now here is the part of the Slayer's universe that no one ever talks about. If someone eats food, some of it has to come out, and with Lina, that's a lot. If I were to describe the next scene I think every slayer's fan will just come to my house and stake me. So I won't, but just to end the story let's just say Harry and Myrtle were able to live together forever encased in a ten-foot thick globe of _____.  
  
Bet those who remember the first part of this story during the first chapter remember Gourry getting beat because he was flirting with a girl. Go ahead, go back to the beginning and look again…Anyway at the end of the story Gourry thought Myrtle was really cool and kept putting his hand through her and smiled the whole time. However, he didn't notice his hand kept going through her breasts. Ahhhh. Now the whole thing makes sense…..How many laughed when I said that. Come on be truthful.  
  
The end  
  
  
  
This story was done with "help" from Samantha who "helped" with the ending and helped me spell Slayer's characters' names correctly. However, everything else was me hahaha. Unless your pissed at me. Then it was Sam. Blame her. Also, Xellos is God. 


End file.
